Self Portrait

This is my 1st assessment that was given by my lecturer.
I actually don't really know what self portrait means although I took a lot of self portrait picture.

I did some research in the internet and look some quotes by artists.
While browsing, the time passed quickly . Suddenly I saw a quote that really caught my minds.
The quote "running" in my mind. I thought of many things that what it said is so true in my personal experience.

"Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend" John Singer Sargent, quoted in Bentley and Esar, Treasury of Humorous Quotations (1951) 

US (Italian-born) portrait painter (1856 - 1925)

John Singer Sargent was an American artist, "leading portrait painter of his generation" .
He also said that: "I hate to paint portraits! I hope never to paint another portrait in my life. Portraiture may be all right for a man in his youth, but after forty I believe that manual dexterity deserts one, and, besides, the colour-sense is less acute. Youth can better stand the exactions of a personal kind that are inseparable from portraiture. I have had enough of it. "

I got 2 personal point of view.
1st of all,
To me, is not because of age, but personality.
This happens to me every time. I got really up sad and fed up most of the time.
No matter how hard I try, I can't be alone. Friend is a source of entertainment and accompaniment. Do you agree?
Somehow, the GOD seems to want me to be alone or the time has yet to come?
Every time, I have a problem, I tried to change my personality to fit into the person whom the other desire. But every time I put on a new personality, my friendship never last and in the end I lose a friend.

When I change my personality, some will say, "why would you be a person whom you are not? Be yourself !!"
When I'm in my own personality, the others will say. Do you think that sometimes it is your fault? Why would the others change their personality to be with you? ( Which I didn't ask them too, I just wanted to accept who and how I am )

As you can see, when I search for advise, the same person will tell the the things that I mentioned above. It always confuses me. In the end, I choose to be alone and be myself. Might be a really bad choice, what can I say, it is my faith. Just feel lonely most of the time.

Secondly,
My appearance, I am very concerned of how I look. I wish to have a looks that gives me confidence in myself and ways to portray myself to the others. But how is it related to a friend. Will you lose a friend because of how you look? It definitely will, every time when I walk with my friends. No one will talk to me, because of how I look, they prefer to talk to someone cuter and prettier rather than me. (This is how I feel so far, hope my feelings are wrong.)

Everyone always say that I have the 'study look' and 'hard working look'. I always wanted and still hope to change that and tell them that I'm not, but it seems to be impossible. It is impossible because it seems that I always do my own work in school alone, that's because I'm lonely. I want to spend my time doing something more useful than doing something useless. I'm not the best among everyone, I just do my best. What is the point if I choose to study and not doing my best? might as well sleep at home.

This conclude my topic about self portrait.

One of my lecturer, once, told us before that we have different look everyday and every moment we look at the mirror.

Citation : Carol, Wiebe. "The Price of Painting a Portrait."Silverspring Studio. Carol Wiebe, 25 August 2009 . Web. 21 Sep 2012. <http://silverspringstudio.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/the-price-of-painting-a-portrait/>.